KAREN MICHELE BARTOLI PURVES



my grandma went to heaven on march 21, 2008. i will never forget that morning i woke up in her hospital room, finding her asleep, the kind of asleep you dont wake up from. she was a 23 year breast cancer survivor. and then was diagnosed with lung cancer and bone cancer in february of this year. the day she told me about it, was when she had just picked me up from school and said she had been to the doctor the previous day. she said they think she has cancer. she also told me that no matter what, while she is alive, she will always be there for me and sean. i tryed to hold back my tears as we were in the car. when we got to her house all i could think about was living without her and how hard that would be. me and my grandma were very close, she was one of my bestfriends and i knew i could tell her anything. when she got put in the hospital i would go see her everyday, and each day i saw her pain increase. she would always ask if i wanted to lay by her side and i always did. i just never thought the day of losing her would come within a month. there is not a day that goes by that i dont think of her, and wish she was here. i miss her so much. she was a very strong woman, and she loved jesus. im glad now she is with him, but here everyone is hurting.
but i am just goin to live my life, with everything she has taught me and im gonna be the granddaughter she would of loved to see grow up.

God's Path For me

God has given me so many gifts in my life. The gift of a never ending love from my father. A gift of an incredible brother, who I am very close to. A stepmom, with such strong faith and endurance, I can't help but look up to. And amazing family members such as the Parnell's, the Purves', the Goode's, and the Chaney's. But I have also been through more than any girl my age should have to. In my 13 years of life, I have learned more than ever expected. I have had to mature very quickley, and I have had to be brave at the most terrifying moments. I have hit many bumps in the road, but I have had God and other special people in my life who show me how i can get over, or around them in the hardest of times. Sometimes I may wonder and ask God why he has put me on this earth, when over and over, I keep getting hurt. Though, very quickly he puts me in my place and shows me the love of an amazing God. There is so much pain and suffering in this world that I wish I could just take away at the snap of a finger, even though it does'nt seem to happen like that. With all the sin in the world, I often get caught up in my imagination, and don't face reality.

I have scars, that have'nt yet been healed. And memories that I wish would just fade away. But that does'nt stop me from being the person I know I can be. I want to work with children who have been abused. Since I have been through it myself, I think it would be good to show kids they are'nt all on their own. So many kids are threatned and told not to tell, but if I show that it's okay to speak up, they need help and they should'nt be living the way they are. Maybe I could be an inspiration. I know how hard it is to tell others what is happening to you, especially when it's from the people you love. So you just try to erase it from your memory. But if you do that, it will always be on you, and you will live with it forever. If you tell though, and try to get help, the sooner the better. I know it won't entirely go away, but it will make you stronger and make you able to get through that part of your life and move on. I am trying to take all the curveballs that have been thrown at me and use them for good. I am not quit ready to do that, but when I get past the things I need to and am spiritually ready, I would love to try to help others who have been through, or going through the same things I have.

Everyday, God is helping me more and more by healing my deep wound scars. I know the scars will never go away but God will heal them. I am so glad I am becoming closer with God. And I love growing in faith with Christ. I acknowledge I can't do anything on my own. And I need God as well as others help me get through the difficult times while walking on my path, that Christ has made just for me.